And so, as I lay Dying
by Itachi anime
Summary: A dying young man sets out on a journey to seek the women who stole his heart, down to his final breath… "I know I cannot have you, but a glimpse of your face is all I need. Only then can I die peacefully…"
1. Chapter 1

Itachi –CRAPPPP! The second computer I set up keeps telling me 'my document cannot be modifiyed' that its 'locked' or something! Someone! Anyone! Tell me how to get rid of it!

PS : I made this on a whim, three or four chapters, five max. Enjoy…

oOo

A dying young man sets out on a journey to seek the women who stole his heart, down to his final breath… "I know I cannot have you, but a glimpse of your face is all I need. Only then can I die peacefully…"

oOo

'_This, was to become my final wish…these days my final steps on this growing earth…'_

_**And so, As I lay Dying…**_

_Chapter 1 – And so, starts my Final Journey_

I used to think my life was made just to die.

I used to think my life was meaningless.

Trash.

What had been the true meaning of living if I was said to die before I reached the age of twenty?

It was Useless Garbage…until I met her.

Even to one as rude and bad natured as I, she still came to visit me. That one nurse. She brought all sorts of different things to me, flowers, candy, magazines, and even game's…When the others nurses would scoff at my attitude towards her, and occasionally purposely forget my medicine, only she would nurse me, feed me, and bathe me when at times I could not bathe myself…

Even though she was my nurse, she had acted as if I would be okay by the next sunrise…Even though she was MY nurse, not a single soul had been able to tell her about my impending death. Not even me. I could never bring myself to tell her why I had been in this hospital for so long. I looked healthy enough on the outsides of my skin…but…on the insides; my heart was very small, and very weak. The doctors had told this to my mother when I had been very young. Now, I spend my days in this hospital, with my nurse, and the mouth that will not open to tell her about my death.

Because…I had started to fall in love with her.

oOo

One day, the daily routetine of my nurse coming over had stopped.

When I had asked the doctors of her, they said words I never expected to hear…

"The nurse that had come to visit you has been relocated to another hospital up North…" I could not longer hear the doctor speaking over the sound of my breath stopping…I could not hear…over the sounds of my person being rushed to the emergency room.

oOo

I had yet another heart attack.

If this continues…will I live long enough to be able to tell her – to tell nurse Kagome, about how I felt? Would I be able to say thank you? No…Would I be able to see her face..? I felt so much better knowing that somebody out there had cared so much for me, not even knowing about my condition…

oOo

I had snuck out of the hospital that night.

Taking only the things I know I'd need…clothing, some money, and my medicine. Before I die, I will fulfill my final wish, for these moments that will pass by…these very days I will spend searching, may as well be my very last steps on this earth. This lonely life shall be set to pass at any moment…But I will try. TRYING. It was the least I could do…

Yes…the least I could do…

. . .And so starts my final journey. As I walk my way to her…

….I also walk to the start of my death.

oOo

Itachi – Sooo…Liked it? Don't dare call me a meanie cause I'm really not! Please Review! Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

Itachi –CRAPPPP! The second computer I set up keeps telling me 'my document cannot be modifiyed' that its 'locked' or something! Someone! Anyone! Tell me how to get rid of it!

PS : I made this on a whim, three or four chapters, five max. Enjoy…

oOo

A dying young man sets out on a journey to seek the women who stole his heart, down to his final breath… "I know I cannot have you, but a glimpse of your face is all I need. Only then can I die peacefully…"

oOo

'_This, was to become my final wish…these days my final steps on this growing earth…'_

'_To set out on this journey, knowing my life was dying, wanting to test my worth…'_

_**And so, As I lay Dying…**_

_Chapter 2 – And so, I Lead my Search_

I sat on the rain soaked pavement in the alley way, clutching at my chest. How many days had it been since I'd snuck out the hospital? One..? Two..? My breathing had been ragged. Was I to have another attack?... if that was to happen would she know..?

If I died, would she know?

If I reached her…would I be able to spot her face one more time? How many days did the doctors say I had left…?

"_If you go out walking, or participate in any physical activity, at the rate you are going now, Sesshomaru, you may only have little more then 5 days…"_

…That's right.

The doctors spoke to me, trying to consult me – But I knew this had been coming.

I had accepted my horrid fate such a long, long, time ago.

oOo

I took my medicine after getting information on the hospital my nurse had been moved to. Northern Side Hospital. The Hospital I had been in; South-Way Universal Hospital, had been a well miles away from where she had been.

But I promised myself I would at least try.

I would at least try to find her.

I fell in love…and so, I had to see her. Even if it had been a mere glance at her face, it would be all I needed, Nothing more would make this slowly decaying life worth-while.

I remember she looked as an angel who'd fallen from the skies above. Innocently she would treat me, talk to me, and embrace me at times even.

oOo

I stood up, and started to walk once again. I had been slightly hungry, and yes, plenty of restaurants had been in the area, but with my condition, I dare not eat any salty foods…my nurse had spoke of me 'not eating too many salty foods because the doctors said so'. She would substitute the no salty foods, with candies and sweets. The doctors didn't mind though.

oOo

While I walked down the suddenly dark, and rainy road ahead of me, I saw her face. And I remembered.

I remembered how she was there when I had come out of the Emergency Room, she escorted me to my room, laid me on my bed, checked my temperature like always, and covered me.

I was so grateful for her.

If she had been a gift given to me from God above, I wouldn't be too surprised.

…

I suddenly started to feel bitter. If fate had spared me, I would be able to live everyday with her – if not along side her, then at least…from afar.

But I loved her too much to be selfish and bitter about my impending death. So…Even if this love was to run me to my grave, I would search, I would try, and I will die in peace…all because of her.

…Yes, a peaceful death…dreaming eternally of only her.

oOo

Life Left : 5 Days & 4 Nights.

oOo

Itachi – I would like to thank **iloveyou99, madin456, Captain PhantomG (Guest), and Kokoro no kuro** for reviewing to my chapter 1, I hope you liked it! …And also, if you have any solutions to my computer issue, go on and PM me. Please review! Thank you!


	3. Chapter 3

Itachi –CRAPPPP! The second computer I set up keeps telling me 'my document cannot be modifiyed' that its 'locked' or something! Someone! Anyone! Tell me how to get rid of it!

PS : I made this on a whim, three or four chapters, five max. Enjoy…

oOo

A dying young man sets out on a journey to seek the women who stole his heart, down to his final breath… "I know I cannot have you, but a glimpse of your face is all I need. Only then can I die peacefully…"

oOo

'_This, was to become my final wish…these days my final steps on this growing earth…'_

'_To set out on this journey, knowing my life was dying, wanting to test my worth…'_

'_Thus it may be selfish, for selfish it truly is, this body starts to break down, truly I am cursed..'_

_**And so, As I lay Dying…**_

_Chapter 3 – And so, I start to Waver_

I wondered to myself, time after time, has my thinking gotten the best of me? Was I truly a fool for going on this miles long journey? …does she even remember me?

I worried.

Yet I wondered. How long will this body last? Will I pass over to the next side in my sleep? Will I die before reaching her?...My resolve was slowly falling apart. I had no time to stop and seek out a doctor, for what could that do that a large hospital I was once in couldn't?

I stood up, and began once again to walk the pathway leading North.

oOo

I passed out while walking the next day.

I was taken to a doctor.

…He spoke words I knew I'd hear.

"Sir, are you aware of your heart condition..?" I answered him with a curt nod, he spoke to me once again, "you do know, you barely have 4 days remaining at the rate you are going, you must rest, please tell me, do you have any loved ones I could call for y-"

"My mother died in an accident, my father disappeared, and my younger brother does not even know that I exist."

I had left my story to the mind of the doctor. He spoke again. "Then, won't you stay at a hospital for treatment we-"

"I have to find her," I stood up, and started to walk to the door, "I'm now halfway there, and standing on the verge of death," I turned to face the doctor, "If you too fell in love, yet knew that you were dying, would you chose to die alone, or die with the last thing you see being the gentle smile of the women you love?"

The last thing I saw before I closed the door, had been the sad smile of the doctor.

I began my trail up the path North once again.

oOo

My medicine had been running on low. This would greatly affect my journey.

…But even so, I was so close, half way there. I could do this. I know I could do this. My resolve had risen up again. This time left on this Earth was not enough for me to waste, I would find her…

I know I will reach her… I would see her lovely face…

…Hopefully, if I had enough strength left, just maybe, I would die in her soft embrace.

oOo

Life Left : 4 Days & 3 Nights.

oOo

Itachi – I would like to thank **madin456, iloveyou99, and Captain PhatomG** for reviewing to my chapter 2, I hope you liked it! …And also, if you have any solutions to my computer issue, go on and PM me. Please review! Thank you!


	4. Chapter 4

Itachi –CRAPPPP! The second computer I set up keeps telling me 'my document cannot be modifiyed' that its 'locked' or something! Someone! Anyone! Tell me how to get rid of it!

PS : I'm really happy that you all enjoy this story, it's kinda hard to write, so…yeah. Thanks a bunch you guys.

oOo

A dying young man sets out on a journey to seek the women who stole his heart, down to his final breath… "I know I cannot have you, but a glimpse of your face is all I need. Only then can I die peacefully…"

oOo

'_This, was to become my final wish…these days my final steps on this growing earth…'_

'_To set out on this journey, knowing my life was dying, wanting to test my worth…'_

'_Thus it may be selfish, for selfish it truly is, this body starts to break down, truly I am cursed..'_

'_But as I see a ray of hope, it slowly starts to fade, body, heart and soul, I hear none'_

_**And so, As I lay Dying…**_

_Chapter 4- And so, My despair deepens_

It has been a whole day since my meeting with that doctor. …My days are numbered now. 3.

3 days I have left, 2 nights to myself.

I was going to die. Very soon, my eyes would close, and I would see no more. This world would be emptied of my already weakened soul.

But… I now knew, that since I had been more then half way to her, I would die without any single regret in the world. I would die…with a smile stretched on my face.

oOo

The afternoon had come along faster then usual. I sat by a tree, holding the small bottle that had seemed to me as my life support, I shook it…it had been emptied. In the little time that I had left the hospital to find her, I had used the remainder of my heart medicine, I had not taken much along with me…I thought I would have no real use for it since my time itself had been very little.

I should have brought more.

I reached into my pockets. Nothing else had been left.

No money.

No medicine.

It was now an unexcitable fact, that this journey of mine was only going to get even harder then it already had been.

But throughout the odds that had been put against me…I would continue.

And so, I stood to my feet, and began walking through the sun lit afternoon.

oOo

I collapsed the very same day… the afternoon turned to night.

I stood up once again, clutching my heart. It hurt. So badly, it hurt. But I trekked on, almost dragging my feet along the pavement.

This little pain I was facing would not stop me from doing what I had promised myself I would do.

This pain would not keep me from her.

…I would reach her.

…

I know I would reach her…I…I have to…

oOo

Life Left : 2 Days & 1 Night.

oOo

Itachi – I would like to thank**, BananaNut37 and Captain PhatomG** for reviewing to my chapter 2, I hope you liked it! …And also, if you have any solutions to my computer issue, go on and PM me. Please review! Thank you!


	5. Chapter 5

Itachi –CRAPPPP! The second computer I set up keeps telling me 'my document cannot be modifiyed' that its 'locked' or something! Someone! Anyone! Tell me how to get rid of it!

PS : I'm really happy that you all enjoy this story, it's kinda hard to write, so…yeah. Thanks a bunch you guys.

oOo

* * *

A dying young man sets out on a journey to seek the women who stole his heart, down to his final breath… "I know I cannot have you, but a glimpse of your face is all I need. Only then can I die peacefully…"

oOo

* * *

'_This, was to become my final wish…these days my final steps on this growing earth…'_

'_To set out on this journey, knowing my life was dying, wanting to test my worth…'_

'_Thus it may be selfish, for selfish it truly is, this body starts to break down, truly I am cursed..'_

'_But as I see a ray of hope, it slowly starts to fade, body, heart and soul, I hear none'_

'_I will stand, my legs will move, For all I want in this short time, is to die in your hands…'_

_**And so, As I lay Dying…**_

_Chapter 5- And so, I stumble_

I knew I had little to no time left.

My time left before I die could be little more then 48 hours at most.

… I was nearly there.

I could feel her…she was so close…

oOo

That day I stumbled while walking as slowly as I possibly could. My legs had started to lose strength, the feeling in them partially gone. They felt like rubber.

I had also found it impossibly painful to even stay awake, keeping my eyes open had been a task all on itself. I wanted so badly to rest…to sleep…peacefully – But she had been the one thing that had kept this walking corpse of mine alive and going. She had been the one and only thing in my mind that hide me from succumbing to the shadows of death earlier in my fragile lifetime.

I loved her.

So much did I love her.

I know that she may not even love me back, I know that she may already have a lover of her own, I know that we will never be together…but…I still love her.

I love her so much, I was willing to try to find her, so that; with luck, I may tell her how I feel.

oOo

Luck had paid me no mind this day.

It had been past the afternoon, and, according to the people I had spoken to, the hospital where she had been transferred to had been less then half a mile north. I was so close…yet, I could not see it anywhere in the area. My sense of sight had started to blur.

But I kept on the search…

My legs stopped, causing the rest of me to fall onto the pavement. The air smelt of incoming rain. The moon covered the night skies.

oOo

I had stayed like that for nearly an hour, laying on the pavement on the side of an abandoned road.

It hurt.

My legs, my arm, my heart…it all hurt so very much.

"It hurts…"

…Even after telling myself how hurt I had been, how battered this body had been, how much more pain I had been facing by forcing myself on, I pushed my body to stand. Using the wall of an old building to balance, I stood once again, on my two shaking feet, and began my walk.

I tried my hardest to ignore the pain coming from the left side of my chest.

I tried to ignore the pace slowing…but the shock had gotten me.

I fell on my knees.

It started to rain.

I clutched the area of my heart.

"Please…" I spoke in a desperate whisper, "Allow me to…just this one thing…Kami.." I took a ragged breath, and slowly stood once again, walking slowly, "Please…do not take me…not just yet…"

"…Not until I have found her… And seen her face again…please…"

oOo

Life Left : 1 Day.

oOo

* * *

Itachi – I would like to thank **madin456****, and Captain PhatomG** for reviewing to my chapter 2, I hope you liked it! …And also, if you have any solutions to my computer issue, go on and PM me. Please review! Thank you!

**AN:- IMPORTANT –**

As you all know, this story will be coming to an end in chapter 6, (I did say it would be short) when it ends, I will start a three chapter story called, '**And so, After All…'** Its going to be based off the doctors story, and nurse Kagome's thoughts, lastly, the thoughts of Sesshomaru's own family members, including the brother who never knew he existed. Its like a short continuation, or Epilogue. Thank you all for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

Itachi – And so, starts the Final Chapter. Enjoy…

oOo

My eyes had gone wide as I saw what I could through my now cold, and blurred vision, the sun of the early morning shone the letters so brightly, and I felt as if this had been a message signifying my long journey nearly complete…

_Northern Side Hospital_

_1 Mile North_

Almost there.

I was almost there.

_**And so, My Journey Finally Ends…**_

_-Final Chapter-_

I ran.

I did not care for the aching in my legs any longer.

I ran.

Forgetting about it all – everything.

I ran.

Pretending it had been okay.

I ran. And Ran. And kept on running.

…Clutching the left side of my chest.

oOo

As I slowed my run and came to a stop, I finally noticed something that had been…off about me body.

How come I could no longer feel my legs? I looked down, patting them weakly with my hands. They had been visible, I felt them. But…They could not feel my hands…

…Oh.

That's right. This is only another sign that I really am dying. Another sign to remind me of the incoming death that had been placed on me. And with this numb pain I had been trying so hard to fight off, I knew…I knew that there had been no way I would ever forget about it.

And so, without any further waiting, I had stood once again; wobbling on legs I could no longer feel, and proceeded to drag this wrecked, over dated, and slowly dying body…to her…

…All of this…for her.

oOo

I dragged my lifeless feet along the solid ground.

I was near.

The slight fluttering in my weak heart had indicated me she had been near. I was…almost there…Finally..almost there!

As I thought of seeing her face once more, my eyes had started to water – if just a little. But I did not allow the tears to fall. The dam holding the river of tears in my eyes will break only when I see her.

…It seems that this lifeless doll still has tears left to cry…

oOo

I wanted to live. Yet I knew I couldn't.

The emotions had overwhelmed me, causing me to nearly black out from the server pain I had been causing myself. But it had all been worth it. This long journey of mine was nearly done. I would see her again, for I had hoped. I had prayed. I went through so, so very much –

"…"

This pain…I knew this pain. Had it been…another attack?

I suddenly fell onto my knees, holding my chest. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't breathe! My eyes had started to tune off to the darkness…

"Sir! Are you okay.?"

A faint voice…

"Somebody call an ambulance! He's not breathing!"

…I knew this…this voice…

It sounded…so…familiar…

As I started to drift off into the darkness once more, I saw her face. Her face shone off, and faded into the incoming night…

oOo

"..!"

I had awoken in an unknown place.

I looked around, sitting up in the bed I had been placed in…had this been…a hospital? Why had I been here? I looked around the empty hospital room. Two IV's had been placed in my arm. I pulled them out. What was the real use of these things if my time had already been made? No use. No hope. No happy endings…accept if she had been here…

I looked around, and my face split into a sudden smile. On a paper in bold letters:

**Northern Side Hospital**

I felt tears wet my cheeks.

… I made it.

I actually…made it.

…And so, starts my search for her.

oOo

I limped as fast as my now numb legs could take me to the closest nurse I could find. I stumbled, then caught myself on the wall. "E-Excuse me,"

The nurse turned around to face me; she looked closely at me, then answered, "Aren't you the patient in the Heart Health Wing? You should be in your room s-"

"I need to find Nurse Kagome, do you know where she is..?"

"Uh…" the nurse thought for a long while, "I last saw her around the inner courtyard upfront – ah! But sir! You shouldn't be-"

I did not listen to the rest of what the nurse had spoken of. All I wanted to do at this moment was to find her. The love I held for that women had been the only thing keeping me on my weakened legs, I was going to die soon. The sun had already started setting. I had little to no time left. I wanted to see her face. My last wish had been something many may laugh at…but…I could care less.

The only thing this dead shell of a body cared for…was her.

oOo

…By the time I had reached the inner courtyard…I could no longer move my legs. I could no longer walk. I pushed through the glass doors that lead to outside – I fell forwards on my face. I coughed…and tasted blood. I grabbed my chest, my pulse was feeling weaker and weaker with every passing moment. I was ending. This life of mine was ending…I-

"Sessh-Sesshomaru?!"

That voice…I knew that voice…

I felt my head being placed on a soft lap…

"Please, wake up, Sesshomaru.."

I opened my eyes just a crack…and smiled a crocked, weak smile. The sun was setting slowly.

…And it was her I saw above me.

I could not move my arms or hands, my vision had only been a blurry daze…but I was sure I was crying. Just seeing her face…it brought so much emotion to me. She looked confused.

"Why are you crying? What happened to you? Why aren't you at your hospital..?-"

"I…love you…"

My heart was slowing.

Through my diming vision, I saw her blush, I smiled once again, took a shallow breath, and spoke to her.

"I…am dyi…ng…" her eyes went wide with worry, people had started to surround us two, but I continued on, "…so I came…all this…way to see you…" my voice started to crack, "…and…and…I finally…finally found…you…"

The sky started to turn to night.

My time was up.

I took a breath, and starred into her eyes.

"what..?"

I did not answer her. I only starred into her eyes…her beautiful face…

"Why..? Why didn't you tell me..?"

I stayed silent.

"N-No…this can't – this can't happen…not to you…"

…So she really did care for me…I listened to my beating heart. …It slowed…and slowed…

'_This, was to become my final wish…these days my final steps on this growing earth…'_

'_To set out on this journey, knowing my life was dying, wanting to test my worth…'_

'_Thus it may be selfish, for selfish it truly is, this body starts to break down, truly I am cursed...'_

'_But as I see a ray of hope, it slowly starts to fade, body, heart and soul, I hear none'_

'_I will stand, my legs will move, for all I want in this short time, is to die in your hands…'_

'_**And so, it happens, my soul is set free, and so as I lay dying, I picture you and me…'**_

oOo

…It slowed…It slowed…then came to a stop.

The last thing I remember hearing had been her voice calling out to me.

_Sesshomaru…_

_Sesshomaru…_

…This worthless life, had been over.

…And yet, I was so happy to have lived it.

So, very happy.

End -

Itachi – Yes. This is the end of 'And so, as I lay Dying', thank you all for your support and reviews while I write this story, there will be an epilogue posted later on. You can find the name in my Bio, or check at the end of chapter 5.

Thanks.

…And so, I finish my first story.


End file.
